Prioritizing your pleasure
Your judgement-free space for pleasure focused education for every-body
Anyone can have great sex.
You can enjoy pleasurable, pain-free sex and experience orgasm.
Sex can be fun, playful, loving, experimental, an expression of love, stress-relief, or form a deeper connection with your partner.
No matter your current circumstance, you could:
- Form a healthy sex life with the freedom to explore, experiment and express.
- Have penetrative sex that doesn’t hurt, finding the tools, techniques or treatment to alleviate discomfort.
- Create a trusting and safe space to acknowledge and accept your needs, develop the confidence to express them without fear of rejection, and the ability to listen with love and understanding.
- Uncover and release what might be holding you or your partner back from experiencing pleasure and intimacy.
YOU ALSO COULD:
- Find a deeper understanding of how your sex drives operate, recognize differences in libidos, and find ways to work around any limitations you may be facing.
- Heal from sexual trauma, overcome shame and feel more sexually confident.
- To be as you are, accept your body and feel desirable and confident.
- Have sex that isn’t a just chore when trying to get pregnant.
- Learn from your experiences, grow as a person and overcome old patterns and habits.
- Break out of relationship ruts and ignite the passion with your partner.
The sex life you share with your partner, long or short term, is essential to the health of your relationship.
But what can be a source of pleasure can turn into a relationship stressor, and an otherwise loving couple might end up depriving themselves of intimacy.
Often due to societal constraints, unrealistic portrayals and unfair expectations, we don’t allow ourselves to talk freely about sex, holding us back from potentially resolving underlying issues.
When desires and needs are suppressed they don’t go away. They can simmer and cause hairline fractures in a relationship.
You or your partner may:
- Believe sex isn’t for you, that something is broken and can’t be fixed.
- Not feeling desire or desired, experiencing low or mismatched libidos, leading to periods of sexual inactivity with your partner.
- Experience so much pain during sex (due to vulvodynia & vaginismus), putting you off penetrative sex altogether, creating extra strain and frustration.
- Trying to get pregnant but experiencing pressures to perform or fears of disappointing your partner.
- Contending with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, hampering pleasure, and leaving you or your partner feeling inadequate.
- Distressed by persistent fears, misunderstandings or confusion, worrying your partner might leave you.
- Experiencing painful internal thoughts and doubts, such as self-esteem issues, body issues, or feeling undesirable–even unloved.
But whatever happens in the bedroom doesn’t mean you have to suffer in private.
✲ Sex shouldn’t be neglected.
I’ve always found sex & sexuality fascinating
In my 4 years with educating with Body Safety Australia and my 2 years at the Australian Institute of Sexology & Sexual medicine, people have shared with me all kinds of fears and desires. Something they have in common is how we evaluate intimate problems compared to the actual source of a complication.
A gap that separates you from where you are, to where you’d like to be. A gap that only grows wider with how unkind we can be to ourselves and societal expectations that press down on us and deem us unworthy.
We often move through our sex life bearing our doubts and dissatisfaction in secret, accumulating disappointment and bad experiences. We might believe we are alone in these problems, the only person going through them. That something is fundamentally wrong with us. That we are to blame.
Which only leads to more dissatisfaction. It becomes normalised, a ruthless cycle of defeat.
In my journey to helping people have the sex life they’ve always wanted, I witnessed first-hand the crushing expectations many of us operate under.
When I was studying I was able to hold a boundary with anyone I was dating & was able to communicate with my partner my needs – including if I decided sex wasn’t on the table, even if I was the one who initiated the encounter in the beginning.
When I shared my experiences with my new uni friends, their response surprised me. “I could never do that”. Wasn’t I worried about the guy’s reaction? How I might be perceived?
I started thinking, why is my story so surprising?
I began to notice friends in relationships and having sex when they didn’t want to.
Sex was an obligation. Something on a “to-do” list. Something expected: of themselves and by others.
I thought sex was supposed to be fun, sensual, loving pleasure-filled. Where did all this expectation come from? This sense of duty, the silent enduring, the fear of judgement.
It seemed impossible for good sex to come from such negative constraints.
I knew then I could help people to prioritise their pleasure and have the sex life they always wanted.
You fear your life will pass you by and regret the years you deprived yourself of pleasure.
You’re comparing your sex life to friends or other people, seeing how sex and sexuality appear in social media or in movies.
Work and life stresses are getting in the way of your experience of pleasure but you can’t seem to fix it or take the time to find the answers.
Sex just hurts, causing disappointment or feelings of rejection, sapping the joy from the experience, and your worried your partner will lose interest.
You’ve come to believe things won’t change, that this is just the way it is, and feel yourself withdrawing from your partner and other parts of your life.
It feels like something’s missing from your sex life, you desire more, but you don’t want to rock the boat or make trouble.
You’re scared or embarrassed to speak your truth and it seems traumatic or painful events of the past are shaping your future.
You’ve been frustrated or defeated by previous attempts to fix things, nothing seems to work, leaving you feeling worthless, unattractive or unloved.
You’re stuck in a vicious cycle, feeling the pressure to perform during sex, which seems to only produce painful results, creating more pressure and confirming your worst fears.
As a queer (bi) Australian person of colour, I welcome all cultures and backgrounds.
I create a safe and comfortable environment where you can share your deepest fears and desires without judgement.
Pleasure shouldn’t be a taboo for you, and it isn’t a dirty word.
Common Questions & Answers
I’m uncomfortable talking about my sex life with a stranger
The time we spend together creates a safe and friendly environment for you to open up. And sharing feelings and unburdening yourself to a kind ear can often be easier than opening up to friends and family. My experience allows me to gently guide you through the process and avoid the judgements and preconceptions that can shape someone’s perception.
I don’t have time
How much time is expended worrying or fretting? It doesn’t take hours of every day to see improvement. And if something is affecting your quality of life and self-esteem, it’s worth making the time.
It’s never going to change
Often the most daunting tasks seem the most insurmountable. If we’ve never shared our problem we might not even realise all the solutions that are available to us if we could only ask for help.
I shouldn’t need someone to talk about this with - sex is natural I should just be able to do it
We all need help sometimes. At the gym, with a nutritionist, with a painter or plumber in our own house! We need to work on our bodies, our career and our environment, so why is it so crazy to think we might need help with our sex life? If sex was so easy for people I wouldn’t have a job!
I can only come and see someone if I have something really wrong like physical pain or my relationship is going to end
You can’t compare your issue to another. You shouldn’t wait until you’re dying to go to a doctor. Why wait until you’re miserable before making a change? Why can’t we strive for an amazing life, instead of putting up with shit until we crumble?
Get out of your head, into your body and have the sex you always wanted.
Take the first step to easing your anxiety around sex and being comfortable in your own skin by booking a session with me.
Fixating on a problem you want to change within a certain time can suffocate your development. I believe in creating a comfortable environment and taking things step-by-step without placing external pressure.
I provide sex education to empower anyone to accept their body and remove the shame around sex and sexuality.
Armed with accurate information, you can undo unhealthy expectations, unburden yourself of painful experiences, niggling insecurities, and be done with the distress caused by unrealistic portrayals of sex.
“I can honestly say Lauren has changed my life–not only in the bedroom but every aspect of my life.”
What can you expect
During our first session, I get to understand you and the problem you’re facing.
We go through not only sexual history, but your family, school, relationships, work, mental health, and anything else impacting your life. Sometimes, it might be the first time you’ve gotten to open up and share your concerns, particularly about something rarely discussed before. Once I understand the top layer of the problem, together we’ll come up with a long term (7-10 session) plan to work towards your sexual goals.
As we work together
As we work together, we’ll learn more about you.
Unpacking those hidden mental thoughts and ideas we’ll get some clarity on your thinking process.
I also provide homework (not the boring school kind!) to help uncover those harmful thoughts that stitch through the mind over the years. This might be writing, drawing, thinking or physical activities. It might be individual homework or something your partner can help with as well, completely dependent on you and your goals.
This service is for you if:
You are struggling with painful sex, sexual shame, lack sexual confidence, have no idea what you want sexually, struggle with your intimate relationships or want to learn more about yourself
This service is not for you if:
Aren’t ready to do the work to make changes in your life.
Looking for a quick fix in one session.
If you’re looking for medication or a prescription.